Boomer Randomness

Last night I worked out at my gym for the first time in a few weeks. It felt good. I’ve been working out off and on since my early 30s, but I’ve never been a gym rat. I don’t really like gyms. Nothing busts a male ego like grunting and groaning on a weight machine only to have the next person in line, a hot young female, effortlessly pump out three sets at a higher weight amount. In fact, I dropped gym memberships several years ago in favor of my home treadmill and dumbbells. But I decided recently that I needed more equipment and more direction and at that same time a new fitness center opened nearby with a $10/month membership fee – considerably less than my last gym. Last night I noticed that one third of the people huffing and puffing are obviously older and heavier than I am. Woohoo! And grunting and groaning is not allowed in this gym – at least not the kind of explosive body-builder grunts that are often followed by the clanging sound of dropping the bar after doing five reps to...

I just modified my songs list (scroll down the left column). If your usual reaction to the words 'country music' involves laughter, a smirk or an involuntary rolling of the eyes, listen to a few of those songs. "The Good Stuff" and "Hell Yeah" are great stories that take place in a bar, "Ticks" and "Online" show off Brad Paisley's warped sense of humor, "Kiss a Girl" is a recent Keith Urban song (he's my current fave because he's so damn good). "I'm Alive" is a duet with Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews (Dave fans, and you know who you are, check it out), "Thriller" is just a good song, "Trouble Man" is a cool blues tune from a local artist, "Don't Blink" is a great 'life is short' story, "Clocks" is my favorite Coldplay song (and in case you thought for just a split second I'm cool because I have that song on the list - truth is it's the only C...

My road trip to New Orleans this year was my best vacation ever. Some of the reasons are spread out over the past several posts, but the main reason is that I feel great. I feel relaxed and recharged, I have a better sense of who I am, I’ve adopted more of a ‘live in the moment’ attitude than is my norm, I made a new friend, rekindled old friendships, bonded with my sister and several cousins and only screamed obscenities to three drivers during the entire last traffic-jammed hour into DC. The challenge is to maintain this peaceful, easy feeling as I dive back into the fray. I have often returned from a wonderful vacation only to have the positivity erased during the first few hours back at work. This time I am determined to remain in this state of euphoria for a long time. When I caught myself slipping a couple of times as I got closer to home, I mentally shouted “Stop!” That actually worked, in part because I then laughed at myself for using such a silly technique. I drove strai...

- Sweet potato fries – yummy! - Passive aggressive drivers who creep along in the left lane when the right lane is clear, apparently trying to prove some misguided point, can be found in many states, not just in the DC area. - Hanging with new friends, old friends, my cousins and my sister – all great people. I am the luckiest guy on the planet. - Except for a couple of stops at McDonalds and Cracker Barrel, every meal I ate out was at a non-franchise restaurant. - Started my trip in the mountains of western North Carolina and decided at the last minute to end it there too. A perfect end – driving out of Asheville east into the dawn, bluegrass music on the local public radio station, no traffic. Smokey fog in the valley to the right, verdant mountains left and ahead. I didn’t want to leave… that’s the sign of a good vacation!

My cousins are still as cool as I thought they were when we were kids. My sister and I are the youngest, so most of them are in their 50s and, uhhh, 60s. Some are grandparents. This motley crew used to get together for every holiday and special occasion. We met for a family lunch last Sunday at my sister’s house. This is the first time I’ve seen them since my Mother’s funeral four years ago. We told and retold stories. We probably bored their spouses, one daughter and a grandson. That grandson took this picture. Note that the male cousin and I were acting a little bit like we did when we were the grandson’s age. We talked some old school shit but we also talked about careers, computers, our lives today and what some of the other family members were up to. This four hour party was the perfect wrap-up for my stay in New Orleans.

This is based in part on observation, in part on what friends tell me (because people often tell me things they wouldn’t even tell a therapist) and in part on my own experience. By relationship, I mostly mean romantic relationships, but much of this can apply to non-romantic friendships too. Here’s how it goes: you have characteristics that make you “you.” Let’s say you have twenty of them … things like personality traits, beliefs, preferences, life goals, hobbies. You meet someone and connect on 2 or 3 of these characteristics that you have in common. . As the relationship grows, you emphasize those things to enhance the connection and you might carefully reveal 2 or 3 more similar things, but you mostly keep the rest of your twenty tucked away for later. The person you met is doing the same thing. Then your relationship becomes exclusive, maybe a live-in or a marriage. You assume that because your lover/spouse has the 5 or 6 things that connected you, then most of the others mu...

I’m starting my return trip tomorrow. Usually I’m depressed at this point because vacation is nearly done. But this time, I’m feeling good. This has been one of my best vacations ever because of people as much as places. I made a new friend who I believe will be a friend for life. I spent time with old friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen in decades, and have re-written those friendships. I spent quality time with my sister and some of her friends who have become my friends too over the years. I spent good, fun time with two sets of cousins. Isn’t it interesting how we call it ‘spending’ time? Not the same ‘spend’ as spending money, but in some ways it is – if we invest time with friends and family, we reap rewards that have more value than anything money can buy. Here is something else that is different about this trip: I am so relaxed and have a strong feeling that I will still be relaxed when I jump back into the insanity that defines my “normal” life. I set out on a mission of...