The Present

If you’ve been following along for the past two years you know about my ongoing self-discovery journey. One of my challenges and goals is to live more in the present and I believe I continue to make progress narrowing the gap between past and future.

Two “past” elements that remain are my story-telling and my list of regrets. The stories won’t change; it is part of who I am. Sometimes it makes me interesting. Sadly the regrets list has grown from one or two to half dozen or more. I can’t change those things I regret and my next challenge is to get them off the list. The past is a great opportunity for learning and sometimes is a fun place to visit. That balance works for me. I do not want to live there.

My “future” thinking is shrinking a bit. I used to spend lots of time there but my definition of future, the sum of many present moments, helps me focus more on now and less on later. I like to think I can shape my future and I believe more strongly about that than before, which means I should concentrate more on those present moments.

Actually I should stop over-thinking some of this … another goal.

So, one narrow definition of “present” is the two or three hours on either side of this moment. Here is tonight’s present: the gym, pork chops, pasta and peas for dinner, my nightly argument, two glasses of delicious petite sirah wine, a U2 CD playing in the background, writing this post, checking my email, blogs and facebook, reading a few more pages in a classic sci-fi novel and setting the alarm for my impossibly early wake-up. Each of those moments relates in some way to the future, some more positively than others. Overall tonight is a decent “present.” I’ll stop with that thought.