Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Reinventing

I have been writing about my self-discovery journey for a few years. The project has been mostly successful, with just a few loose ends remaining. But I have been thinking about a companion project that is more like a reinvention.

I have a much better understanding about myself and the various beliefs and personality traits that make me me. A possible next step is to change the balance of those factors, specifically which ones I show. That might be just a little too much strategy. After all, I am who I am and anyone who is close to me eventually sees the whole picture. Part of the self-discovery was for me to see the whole picture myself and change some parts.

Have you ever gone through this yourself? Do you know who you are? What parts do you share? Do you want to be somebody else? Do you want to change the way others see you? Do your closest friends ever see the whole you?

I see myself as a moderately interesting man who leads a very interesting life. I make a good living, have a fun job, get to meet famous people, have been semi-famous myself a couple of times on a small local level. Sometimes I’d like to be seen as a very interesting, fun, exciting man. I’d like to walk down the street with a small entourage and be greeted by every fifth person because they know me. I’d like access to special places that others can’t go, like the West Wing (where I actually did go once) or backstage at the Kennedy Center (or the Kennedy Space Center).

On the other hand, I am more of an observer than a participant. That is my own choice. Part of my job is public but most of my personality is not. I am an open book about my personal life, up to a point, but I have a line over which only a few people are allowed to cross (and none of them have really even tried).

So should I reinvent myself?

I probably won’t. “Slightly modify” is closer to what I will likely do. I might change the balance of what I show off but at the core I will remain the same.

The first leg of my self-discovery journey is mostly over. The second leg will be to take what I now know about me and open myself to showing more parts, to display a bigger picture. I have the confidence to do that more now than ever. This next chapter could be very interesting. Some people won’t even notice. Others may be surprised.

No comments: