Do the Thing You Think You Cannot Do
Fear
is an interesting motivator. You’ve
probably heard the famous quote, “The
only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
These words were spoken by President Franklin Delano Roosevelt during
his first inaugural address in 1933, in the middle of a banking crisis and
other types of turmoil causing great fear among Americans at the time. His advice was comforting and eased some of
the fear.
This
morning I heard another interesting ‘fear’ quote:
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which
you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I
have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
This longer, but equally
simple and powerful suggestion, comes from a book first published in 1960 …
written by FDR’s wife Eleanor Roosevelt.
The full title of her book is “You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a
More Fulfilling Life.” Being a history
enthusiast, I find it interesting that two such powerful quotes about fear come
from a President and his wife. A First
Lady didn’t usually get credit for much beyond fashion, even as recently as 1960. Fortunately the four most recent Presidential
spouses have gone beyond that stereotype.
The short part of Eleanor
Roosevelt’s quote that resonates with me is this: “… stop
to look fear in the face. … You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Have you ever been in that
position yourself? Have you feared
trying to do something you wanted to do because you thought you couldn’t do it? Did that fear come from the overwhelming odds
against taking up the challenge or was it a loud inner voice from your youth shouting
someone else’s assessment of your situation?
Some fears are a bit
obvious: skydiving, for example. Two
friends have done that recently, one around her 30th birthday, the
other around her 60th. They
each had fears but they each also wanted to do that. You can see their fear at
the beginning of their respective skydiving videos and you can see the elation
upon landing. They looked their fears in
the face and did the thing they thought they could not do. Or maybe it was just something others told
them they could not or should not do.
Some fears we face are less
exciting but just as important in living a fulfilling life. They involve our working lives. Some of us know what we want to do for a
living but are reluctant to pursue that goal because we think we cannot do it.
I know someone who in her
youth was considered borderline ‘mentally disadvantaged’, even by her parents,
one of whom was a teacher. Eventually
she was diagnosed as dyslexic and was able to work through the issue and go on
to complete college. The fear of not
being able to succeed in life continued, however, and the not-so-subtle message
from her not-so-encouraging parents haunted her through a not-so-satisfying
decade as a legal secretary. She wanted
to do what the lawyers were doing but fear kept her back. Finally one of her employers encourages her
to go for it. A few years later she
looked her fear in the face, gained strength from it, went to law school and in
her 30s became an attorney.
Another person I know had an
interest in the medical field at some point in her youth but for a variety of
reasons did not pursue it. She held
bartending jobs for many years but still had an interest in nursing. I don’t know all the details, but it seems a
voice of fear deep in her brain held her back.
She eventually looked that fear in the face and against many obstacles
began a nursing school program. She
continued to struggle with fear and self-doubt but an inner determination kept
her going and now, in her forties, she is about to graduate and is about to take the leap into
living a more fulfilling life by overcoming fear and doing what at times she
felt she could not do.
You must do the thing you think you cannot do might have been very helpful to me in my youth. My parents were encouraging up to a
point. They made me believe I could do
anything I set my mind to do, but then they put subtle and not-so-subtle restrictions
on my dreams. I knew when I was a kid
that I wanted to be in radio. Dad found a
way for me to visit a radio station and see what it was like but he didn’t
really think that was any way to make a living.
It didn’t help that I was very shy as a kid. The thought of standing in front of a group
of people to give a speech scared the hell out of me. I hated even standing up to speak in a
classroom. Fear of public speaking, fear
of people looking at me, fear of making a mistake … name it and I was afraid of
it.
I did not think I could do it, so I studied mostly English and math in
high school and marketing, sociology, urban studies and history in
college. All I ever talked about was
wanting to be on the radio but it was the last thing I tried to do for a
living. I worked in a warehouse for a
month in college, answered the switchboard on weekends at a TV station (getting
a little closer to my dream, in an odd way), worked part time at Sears, left
college and went in the Army, came back and worked full time at Sears, went
back to college. Somebody finally
challenged me to face my fears and try to do the thing I thought I could not
do. I gained strength, courage and
confidence by facing my fears, just like the quote says, and after more than
thirty years I am still doing the thing I thought I could not do. I’ve stumbled, changed directions, got out
and got back in, tried new things, learned new parts of my business; each time
involved facing the fear.
Each stumble and each success moved me forward. I have had people encourage me and mentor me,
but I mostly have done this on my own. I
am not bragging about this, I am suggesting that if I can get my dream, anybody
can get theirs. I laugh when I think
that this once shy kid narrated a sky-diving show in front of 30 thousand
people at a Texas Rangers game and again in front of 40 thousand people at a
motocross event in Cotton Bowl Stadium, hosted a nightly radio show that was
heard in fifty countries around the word and now produces and often voices
audio things that play on 105 radio stations across the country. I am still shy, by the way, but I face the
fear.
The two friend examples I mentioned, as well as my own, are mere grains
of sand on the beach of examples of people who have done the very thing Eleanor
Roosevelt suggested. I’ll quote it one
more time … it’s simple but powerful:
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which
you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I
have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
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