The Christmas Magnet
Regardless of one’s religious beliefs, Christmas is usually a time for family
and friend celebration. It can also be a sad time in boomer world because the
holiday season of our adulthood or ‘seniorhood’ doesn’t live up to that of our
youth.
I used to have serious holiday depression, especially after my Dad died in a November several years ago. My life turned around in a positive direction about five years ago. That Christmas I was alone and on my own again after more than fifteen years of what turned into a very dysfunctional relationship and marriage.
Being alone during the holidays could be very depressing but that was not the case with me. Christmas Day that year was my third day alone in a new apartment and I woke up with a smile, brewed some coffee and opened moving boxes till I found my stereo. Me, coffee, Christmas music = happiness.
Back in my ‘holiday depression’ years I could feel sadness for days at a time through November and December. A trip back to New Orleans, the source of my happy holiday youth, often served to erase the depression. New Orleans was sort of like a magnet, pulling me back to a time when the word ‘depression’ was merely something in a history book referring to the 1930s and not an emotional condition.
New Orleans is still a Christmas magnet for me. For the past five years, my Yuletide blues only comes in short waves lasting minutes rather than months. Thinking about my hometown usually knocks out sadness. Memories of a very pleasant youth puts a smile on my face. My current (and likely permanent) romantic situation has a similar effect.
But it has been six or seven years since I was in that weird, magical city at Christmas time and I feel the pull of the magnet. Even though I dislike traveling during holidays and winter (crowds, delays, weather), I want to be in the center of my happy holiday youth, spending time with family and friends and sharing it with the afore-mentioned romantic woman.
My first New Year's resolution for 2018: let the Christmas magnet pull me ‘home’ for a few days next December.
I used to have serious holiday depression, especially after my Dad died in a November several years ago. My life turned around in a positive direction about five years ago. That Christmas I was alone and on my own again after more than fifteen years of what turned into a very dysfunctional relationship and marriage.
Being alone during the holidays could be very depressing but that was not the case with me. Christmas Day that year was my third day alone in a new apartment and I woke up with a smile, brewed some coffee and opened moving boxes till I found my stereo. Me, coffee, Christmas music = happiness.
Back in my ‘holiday depression’ years I could feel sadness for days at a time through November and December. A trip back to New Orleans, the source of my happy holiday youth, often served to erase the depression. New Orleans was sort of like a magnet, pulling me back to a time when the word ‘depression’ was merely something in a history book referring to the 1930s and not an emotional condition.
New Orleans is still a Christmas magnet for me. For the past five years, my Yuletide blues only comes in short waves lasting minutes rather than months. Thinking about my hometown usually knocks out sadness. Memories of a very pleasant youth puts a smile on my face. My current (and likely permanent) romantic situation has a similar effect.
But it has been six or seven years since I was in that weird, magical city at Christmas time and I feel the pull of the magnet. Even though I dislike traveling during holidays and winter (crowds, delays, weather), I want to be in the center of my happy holiday youth, spending time with family and friends and sharing it with the afore-mentioned romantic woman.
My first New Year's resolution for 2018: let the Christmas magnet pull me ‘home’ for a few days next December.
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