I Don’t Go To Church Much, But

Church attendance in most denominations had been down for a long time in the USA, but according to an article I read a few years ago, we (boomers) are returning to places of worship. Reasons vary, but it seems as we look for meaning in our lives, another boomer trend, we often seek meaningful direction in places of worship. In some ways we also look for a connection to our youth.

I grew up Catholic but have not been a practicing Catholic since shortly after college in the 1970s. The rituals and dogma did not seem to resonate with 20th century life and I thought the way one lives and treats others was more important than awkwardly translated bible versus and arbitrary rules (no meat on Friday, for example, or holy days of obligation).

In the mid 1990s I ‘discovered’ the Unitarian Universalist denomination, became a charter member of a new local congregation and was an active member for several years. There was some hypocrisy in that group too and I stopped going. To this day, however, I still identify with UU principles and the open exploration of a wider range of beliefs than most religions espouse.

My girlfriend, who grew up Baptist and ‘converted’ to
Catholic in her 20s, had an emotionally rough week recently and wanted to go to church. Other than funerals and holidays, she had not been to church much during the past several years but felt a visit would help her emotional state. I offered to go with her. Maybe for the same reason.

On our way in from the parking lot, I realized that this particular day was the 13th anniversary of my Mother’s death. A flood of memories led to an unexpected emotional reaction. I became teary-eyed several times during the Mass.

Going to Mass at a Catholic Church is a lot like going to MacDonalds. The menu and physical setup is essentially the same in each location and the floor plan and the ceremony of a Mass provide a calming comfort zone.

As I sat (and stood and sat and knelt and stood and sat), a flood of happy memories of Mom and my youth flowed over me. I did not expect that. I did ultimately welcome it though.

On that day during that hour, I tucked away my cynical side and let myself feel the moment. I listened to the sermon and noted that this priest spoke in ways that connected old scripture to contemporary life in a manner I rarely heard in my youth.

His topic was essentially a suggestion that we be less judgmental in our lives. It made me think that I am guilty of being judgmental on a daily basis, even when I think that is not really me. I recalled that priestly message many times during the next week.

As I write this, I realize that I am often judgmental about religion. Maybe I should change that pattern. I don’t go to church much but I did get something positive out of that visit so maybe I should go more often.

Regardless of the denomination, most religions teach the same things: be good to other people, help those who need help and acknowledge there is some kind of higher power. Those seem to be good lessons and learning those lessons can help give meaning to our lives.