And Just Like That She Is Gone
For the second time this year, someone close to me has died.
Nancy has been my accountant for 35 years. She was younger than me. Although we
were not close friends, we did see each other almost every year for three
decades and we shared all the various phases of our lives over that time.
I met Nancy in 1984. Her husband was a coworker and introduced us when he learned I was looking for someone to do my taxes.
I saw her just last summer and another of her clients who I know just saw her last week. We all knew she was somewhat depressed after the loss of her husband a few years ago, but nobody saw any other health issues. At the time I am writing this, no cause of death has been made public.
Two people I’ve known for 35 years, both seemingly in good health, both younger than me, gone within two months of each other.
One day they’re here, the next day they’re just gone.
It is such an empty feeling.
Have you been through this?
Baby boomers are currently ages 55 to 73. This is certainly an age at which we would expect loved ones to reach the end of their lives. Grandparents, parents, cousins, high school friends. My parents each died in the early 2000s. All of my aunts and uncles are gone. A girlfriend from my 20s died three years ago, a cousin died two years ago. Death is inevitable but it still surprises me when it hits close to home.
My first reaction in each case is sadness, of course, and sorrow for their families and close friends. My almost immediate second reaction is “oh shit, gone in a flash, so young, it could happen to me, I better do everything on my bucket list TODAY, before it’s too late”.
My sensible side tempers the urgency. My observational side asks what am I waiting for. My heart starts booking flights. My head writes this blog.
My curiosity about Nancy’s cause of death is firing my senses like a 4th of July fireworks show. She had the calming, logical personality that made her a great accountant. But she was still struggling with grief over the loss of her husband, whose death came only eight months after the onset of the illness that killed him. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? God, I hope she didn’t take her own life. That would be so unlike her. I think. But I don’t really know.
What I do know is that she is gone. No warning. Just gone.
I met Nancy in 1984. Her husband was a coworker and introduced us when he learned I was looking for someone to do my taxes.
I saw her just last summer and another of her clients who I know just saw her last week. We all knew she was somewhat depressed after the loss of her husband a few years ago, but nobody saw any other health issues. At the time I am writing this, no cause of death has been made public.
Two people I’ve known for 35 years, both seemingly in good health, both younger than me, gone within two months of each other.
One day they’re here, the next day they’re just gone.
It is such an empty feeling.
Have you been through this?
Baby boomers are currently ages 55 to 73. This is certainly an age at which we would expect loved ones to reach the end of their lives. Grandparents, parents, cousins, high school friends. My parents each died in the early 2000s. All of my aunts and uncles are gone. A girlfriend from my 20s died three years ago, a cousin died two years ago. Death is inevitable but it still surprises me when it hits close to home.
My first reaction in each case is sadness, of course, and sorrow for their families and close friends. My almost immediate second reaction is “oh shit, gone in a flash, so young, it could happen to me, I better do everything on my bucket list TODAY, before it’s too late”.
My sensible side tempers the urgency. My observational side asks what am I waiting for. My heart starts booking flights. My head writes this blog.
My curiosity about Nancy’s cause of death is firing my senses like a 4th of July fireworks show. She had the calming, logical personality that made her a great accountant. But she was still struggling with grief over the loss of her husband, whose death came only eight months after the onset of the illness that killed him. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? God, I hope she didn’t take her own life. That would be so unlike her. I think. But I don’t really know.
What I do know is that she is gone. No warning. Just gone.
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