Boomer Randomness

A friend and regular participant in my community affairs radio programs has a New Year’s strategy that resonates with me. Each December she chooses a single word that represents her main goal for the coming year. I have tried this for the past few years with a fairly good degree of success. My life was a little unfocused for the past two years but the keyword concept did help me. So as I write this on New Year’s Eve 2012 my keyword for 2013 is very clear to me … ‘renew’. As the year ended, I finally succeeded in starting the next chapter in my life. The self-discovery journey I’ve written about for three or four years reached a major destination. Less than five hours from the moment I hit ‘publish’ on this post the first minutes of the next leg of my journey begin. I am alone tonight by choice, but I am not really lonely. I am in touch with my real friends and my Facebook friends (some of whom are real friends too). I know I’ll be trading texts with at least two close friends....

Well, I did it. I have turned the page to the next chapter in my life. After several years of inching toward this goal, I have now reached it … I am now on my own. So how does it feel? Bittersweet. If you expect me to be dancing in the streets in celebration then you don’t know me very well. This is the next step toward the end of my third marriage. When looking at it through that filter, there is nothing to be happy about. Marriage is supposed to be a ‘forever’ thing, as unrealistic as that may be. I can name five people I know who lived that ideal … my parents and four of my best high school friends. My parents celebrated a 50th anniversary and three of those four high school friends have past their 30th. Two of those three are happily married and the third tolerates problems because of the security even a troubled marriage can provide. My first two marriages lasted less than two years each. The first ended entirely because of my immaturity. The second ended mostly because of he...

The biggest obstacle has been overcome.  Now it's time for the move.  I hate moving, I hate packing, I never expected to be doing this again, yet I am.  The good news is that this really is the final page of the current chapter and I am almost surprised I reached it. More soon.

As I inch closer to a new chapter in my life, I wake up this morning with a churning stomach, partly due to the lingering effects of a bad cold and partly because of an incredible amount of stress. Movers arrive in two days, signaling what should be a day of celebration for me, but I continue to face roadblocks in my attempts to move on with my life. At this moment I trust almost no one, and seriously doubt my own ability to judge character. Yesterday afternoon I thought I had overcome the major obstacles to moving forward but last night saw there are more. In my twenties my personality was largely negative. Decades ago I turned that around and became the model of optimism. Right now it is all I can do to believe that my normally positive outlook still exists and that it will carry me through the end of the week. A voice very deep in the recesses of my mind is trying to tell me I can survive this with my personality intact, but a louder voice is shouting messages to the contrary. Se...

At 9:30 on a sunny Friday morning in small-town Connecticut, a teacher heard a sequence of unfamiliar sounds … pop, pop, pop. Fireworks? Gunshots? Both were unlikely noises coming from a classroom down the hall. But it was indeed gunfire. That teacher and her students survived, but minutes later twenty six people lay dead; twenty of them were children. The school principal and the school psychologist were among the dead adults. How does something like this happen? Mass shootings are hard enough to understand, but it is even worse when children are targeted. Schools in Columbine and at Virginia Tech, a movie theatre, a hospital, a shopping mall … none of it makes sense. Yet we try to process and explain. If the school psychologist wasn’t a victim in yesterday’s massacre, he or she would be analyzing the shooter. What leads a 20-year-old male (I refuse to call him a man) to kill his mother, then go to a classroom and kill twenty elementary school children? And don’t give me that “Go...

Every time I think I’ve had the craziest week of my life, another one pops up. The coming week will likely land in my top 10 list. This week at the office I have to work ahead for the following two weeks that I am on vacation. My home week includes finally resolving the next big step in an ongoing personal matter, packing boxes and signing papers. AND I’m fighting the onset of a nasty cold. This should be interesting.

I used to think I understood women. I didn’t. And I don’t. Generalizing about an entire category of people is usually not my style but in this case I can lump together several seemingly common female personality characteristics that amuse and confuse me. Here are a few random observations, in no particular order. Many women want men to be mind-readers. They claim they are individuals and say they want things to be a certain way, but then when men go along with that it turns out the women didn’t really mean that at all and what something completely different. And we men are assumed to be able to figure that out and act accordingly. A scene from the movie Tootsie comes to mind. Dustin Hoffman plays an actor who stumbles into a role as a woman, which he is then compelled to continue off screen as part of an unintended deception. An actress he likes confides in ‘her’ that she wants a decisive, aggressive manly man to come on to her in a specific way. In a later scene he is at a party as...

I admire and respect people who seem to have complete control of their lives, the ones who seem to always do things their way, play by their own rules, chart their own path. 'Seem' is the key word in that observation. Those people probably do exert a greater amount of control than most of us, though, and we can learn from them and adopt some of their methods. My job is primarily one of reaction. Although I report to one person, in reality I have to please four or five different people with every piece of audio I write and produce. Some of those people are executives in my company, some are clients and ultimately every element I create should engage listeners of the radio stations where these things play. So I am pulled in many competing directions several times a day and I subject myself to this torture willingly because it is usually fun and they pay me well. Basically what all that means is that I only have partial control of what I do every day. That is normal for most...

I awoke to a loud female voice coming from the room next door. I couldn't tell if she was having a nightmare, having sex or singing. Then I realized she was singing ... The Star Spangled Banner. Maybe she was doing the other two activities too. Rockets red glare, bombs bursting in air and all that. Some people would be horrified if they knew they could be heard by other guests in a hotel. I have often heard loud TVs, conversations about travel plans and other mundane things. Several times I have heard people having sex. I was embarrassed for them; they probably had no idea their private moment had an audience. Some of those moments were laughable, sadly, but one time I nearly cheered at one guy's stamina. How would you feel if you knew someone heard your singing along or getting it on? Why are some hotel room walls so thin? The recent stay I am writing about was at a suburban Best Western near Washington DC; it is the top of the line for their franchise but my expectations ...

Successful actors often get locked into roles that mimic the iconic characters that make them famous.   We see so much of that part that we forget they can play other roles too.   Humphrey Bogart is a good example.   He is the tough guy with a heart, the fighter that claims to ignore the fight but in the end he leads the fight, like his Rick Blain character in Casablanca or Harry Morgan in To Have and Have Not .   Then we see him later in his career as the delusional, broken down Lt. Cmdr. Queeg in The Caine Mutiny , who does not become a hero at the end; or the cynical drunk Charlie Allnut in African Queen, who does. Larry Hagman died this week. I do not believe he is in the same league as Bogart, but in some ways he follows a similar pattern. His most iconic role is oil man J. R. Ewing in the 1980 television series Dallas . He a ruthless stealer, cheater, liar business tycoon who cares about himself first, his family name second, and not much else, yet he is ...

They say that you can make some things happen by simply ‘willing’ it. With that in mind: I will not get holiday depression this year. I will not get holiday depression this year. I will not get holiday depression this year. I will not get holiday depression this year. I will not get holiday depression this year. I will not get holiday depression this year. I will not get holiday depression this year. I will not get holiday depression this year. Actually, I’m sure I WILL get holiday depression at some point this season and I’m OK with that. By planning in advance for the possibility, I increase the chance of decreasing its impact. Thanksgiving Week gives us an opportunity to consider what we are thankful for in life and that is what I choose to concentrate on for the next six weeks. My life is filled with crap right now and things I have been trying to make happen are still crawling along like a slug. Crawling, however, does indicate movement so I can add that to the...

“We’re going to raise the roof.” There is a television commercial airing right now that makes fun of that phrase. A Mom says it in response to celebrating a sale in a store, her kid tells her nobody says that anymore, someone else in the store shouts it and the Mom grins. But what exactly does ‘raise the roof’ mean in that context? Something like ‘to have fun and make a lot of noise’ like maybe a loud celebration because this sale is going to be so good. Here’s another one … “I’ll be there with bells on.” Upon hearing that, someone might ask “why would you wear bells?” The origin of that phrase goes back to the pre-auto days and has something to do with arriving at a festive event in your horse-drawn carriage with bells on the harnesses of the horses. Words and phrases take on different meanings over time and people of various generations who don’t catch the change might have difficulty communication with each other. Remember in the 1980s when the word ‘bad’ starting to actuall...

The election was a week ago and many Facebook friends are still whining or gloating. Geez, just stop! If you voted for Romney … hey, your guy lost and Obama is President for four more years. Deal with it! If you voted for Obama … hey, your guy won but he does NOT walk on water and does not have all the answers. Deal with it! Both of them have leadership qualities that could make for a good President. Both have leadership flaws that challenge their ability to be a good President. Remember, however, they are not dictators and the fate of the country does not rest on one person. Another thing: the President is not the problem. Congress is the problem. And many of the same players are still Representatives and Senators. The only way we’re going to get through the mess we’re in is if both sides start listening to each other and paying attention to each other. There are good ideas and bad ideas on each side; listen to all the ideas, discuss and debate the merits of each idea, then compro...

I wrote and posted this last year, but I’ll repeat it because this is how I feel this weekend too. When I see the tributes and thank you messages to vets around Veteran’s Day each year, I usually embrace the message and in some way add to the salutes. I want to praise “them” for their service. Then in the middle of it all, I remember that I am a military veteran too. I do not usually include myself in the praise.  Me in the Army I have served my country in many positive ways over the years but my military service is not one of them. I hated the military at the time and most of what I thought they stood for then. I enlisted in the Army but only because I thought I lost my college deferment because of bad grades and I mistakenly believed I would have more choice if I joined rather than being drafted. The draft ended soon after and I would never have had to go. Fate works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it? My three-year enlistment lasted only one year. The details are my busines...

It is November and I'm already producing radio commercials for concerts next summer.  I can't leak the details but I can tell you that tickets go on sale in the next few weeks for two major country music concerts happening in my area next May. Do you remember back in the day when tickets went on sale six or eight weeks before the concert and you had to go somewhere to buy them.  At one time the only place to purchase tickets was at the venue, then along came ticket services with outlets.  I bought tickets at department stores for some shows back in the 1980s. Been to a concert lately? At many venues Ticket Takers are now really Ticket Scanners … they scan the bar  code on your ticket rather than tear it.  That's pretty cool if you keep tickets as souvenirs.  I see a day when tickets won't even exist.  My 'tickets' for the two most expensive concerts I've ever gone to were printouts from my computer; I bought them online and printed the ticket....

One of the proudest moments an American has is to cast a vote. I feel an amazing sense of power as I stand before that voting screen and touch the box next to each candidate of my choice. I would spend an hour or more in line if necessary to exercise this right, but fortunately my polling location was not crowded … I was only in line for ten minutes this morning. This election season was the meanest I can ever remember. Most politicians, even the ones I voted for, spent more advertising time blasting their opponents than explaining what they would do if elected or re-elected. It is difficult to make an informed choice with all that crap swirling around. I made most of my choices months ago and nothing in any ad, debate or Facebook post changed my mind. Much to my surprise, however, some people were still undecided as late as this morning. I had a brief email exchange with a friend over Presidential candidate choices and I believe she eventually made her choice based as much on what...

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I will proudly cast a vote for Obama on Election Day. If Romney is your choice I encourage you to proudly cast a vote for him on Election Day. That is our right. If you’re the stupid coward who left this note on a friend’s car in battleground state Virginia today, I encourage you to seek help from a mental health professional. If I caught someone leaving a note like this on my car they would not be able to vote on Election Day because they’d still be in the hospital Tuesday. I am an American, a patriot and a veteran and believe Obama is the right person for the job of President. I also believe people have the right to disagree – half do and half don’t, according to the latest polls. But I think it takes a very unpatriotic coward to leave a note like this. That person probably wouldn’t have the courage to face me with a comment like that. He or she certainly has the right to believe that but I challenge their right to imply there is something wrong with my patriotism if I choose...

I finally started blocking Facebook friends who post extreme political views. They have the right to say whatever they want to and I have the right to ignore them. The first one was easy … a DJ I used to work with who I don’t really care all that much about anyway. The next one was more difficult … husband of a good friend. I only wish I had sent him a picture of my Obama yard sign before deleting him. Third one was tough … an old friend from twenty five years ago who I only reconnected with in recent years. The next few will be more challenging because their views are closer to mine, but they’re getting blocked too. I respect people whose political views are radically different from mine IF those views are well-thought-out. But I have seen more stupid, mean-spirited commentary this election cycle than at any time since the late 1960s and early 70s when race and war were the issues. Some of the comments attempt to make Obama supporters seem unpatriotic. Others are racist while othe...

Wow, a hurricane at the end of October. That rarely happens and most drift out to sea. But Hurricane Sandy has her sights on the Mid-Atlantic states, with her center predicted to hit Maryland, Pennsylvania and New York. Earlier today the forecast map had a line right through Washington DC but the latest line crosses further north, closer to New York City. Sandy is ‘only’ a category 1 or 2 storm right now, with sustained winds around 75 miles per hour, but it’s a big storm dumping plenty of rain and it is likely going to merge with another weather system in a couple of days. The potential for flooding is high and power outages are likely. Storms like this are dangerous and exciting at the same time. My media job includes helping to get useful storm preparation information out to the public, which adds purpose to the excitement and danger. I was in two different meetings today in which various staffers outlined storm plans and I am in awe of some of my co-workers for the great le...

I was going through a few old links to blogs tonight and realize many of them, including some I’ve listed on this blog, no longer exist. A few years ago there were many blogs out there but it seems that social media sites have begun to fill that need and blogging is less popular. Or maybe it’s just less trendy. People write creatively in short bursts to their ‘friends’ on Facebook or Twitter instead and of course we all read along. Blogging is a creative outlet for me and I still enjoy doing it. I do not write for an audience; these posts are mostly random thoughts and topics that interest me and this hobby feeds a childhood fantasy I had of being a newspaper columnist. Yes, I realize that is a bit odd but I’m OK with that. This blog has software and counters that tell me how many visitors I get and what countries they are in. Hope that doesn’t feel too creepy to you. I get between one and ten visitors a day, on average. Most are from the United States but some are from places like...

It is mid-October but I’m already thinking about Christmas season. And I’m not alone, am I? Many stores are already decorating and my boss is already asking if my department is covered for the holidays. And my most pressing personal question: to road trip or not? My original plan involved staying here for the holidays but I’ve changed my mind. I’ll be on the road again. I have more days off this year so I might add a stop or two to my usual places. New Orleans is the main destination, of course, and Asheville NC. I usually also stay in Birmingham because it’s convenient but I might add another city like Nashville or Memphis … or maybe a beach place like Pensacola or Biloxi. More details later. Hohoho.

I went to a nearby outlet mall today and realized I have a shopping pattern that works for me, more or less. I am a focused shopper. I nearly always know exactly what I want, I know my sizes and I have a clear idea of what’s already in my closet. I go into the store, head straight for what I’m looking for, try stuff on if I see my targeted items, decide right away whether or not to buy and I’m done. I give myself a little room for spontaneity but I don’t do a lot of random browsing. My clothing is neither in style nor out of style. I buy clothes that fit my own sense of style and that I can wear for years. I think I dress like a ‘casual Friday’ 45 to 50-year old and you and I both know I’m older than that. If you know me in person you also know I don’t especially care. I do like to dress appropriately for various situations and most of my shirts go with most of my pants. I actually like dressing up but I don’t have much reason for that so I don’t own a lot of dressy clothes. When i...

Well, it’s fall. Leaves are turning but it is not at the pretty stage around my part of Maryland yet. Hey, Mother Nature, my camera and I are waiting. I bought Diana Krall’s latest CD today. She is hard to define, isn’t she? She’s young but plays old music or music inspired by old music. Her style is old-school jazz, unlike the music of her husband Elvis Costello. I accepted an invitation to a Halloween party next week. I haven’t been to a Halloween party since the mid 1990s, when I was the DJ at a Halloween party at a nudist club. I’m serious. Now THOSE are some creepy costumes … the woman dressed as Lady Godiva was memorable … actually she was wearing only her long hair and gold body paint … but I digress. Not sure what I’m wearing to this one, however. I only know the host and her husband, I might be going alone and I don’t really have a costume. Suggestions? You know those signs on the Interstate that read “Slow Traffic Keep Right”? Shouldn’t they really say “Get The Fuck O...

I plan for this to be the last commentary I make about Presidential debates. Wish me luck. Who won the debate tonight? Dems think Obama did, Repubs think Romney did. I think Obama did a great job and more than made up for his poor performance in the 1st Presidential debate. I think Romney more or less held his own. Neither of them did a great job of actually answering the questions that the audience of undecided voters were asking. But here is what really pisses me off … some people actually believe what extreme political commentators say. A Facebook “friend” clicked like on a very stupid commentary by Rush. The commentary claimed Obama was lying. Instead of ignoring this, I chose to actually click on the link to see more. Of course what I saw were the thousands of Rush lemmings diving off the cliff with Rush. How can somebody with any intelligence at all believe that Rush is anything but a clownish blowhard? Rush doesn’t represent anybody but Rush. In real life, away from a micr...

I am a creature of habit. Many of us are. Habits and patterns can be helpful paths guiding us in life or destructive behaviors blocking our journey. The habit I am thinking about right now is neither, but it is formerly a rock solid milepost in a typical Bernie week. It's my Sunday Routine. In years past I began nearly every Sunday with coffee and a daily newspaper. The habit began in my 20s with coffee and chickory and the New Orleans Times Picayune. My Sunday Routine moved across the country with me ... Milwaukee Journal, Chicago Sun Times, Dallas Times Herald, Baltimore Sun and Washington Post. The coffee part varied but eventually became mostly Starbucks. My life got busy and complicated in recent years and my Sunday Routine evaporated (except for the coffee). I cancelled newspaper subscriptions in favor of reading online, but that is a pain in the eyes so I eventually stopped reading. I get basic news from TV and radio and deeper details via occasionally checking web sit...

Some random notes about the VP debate this week: Looking at Facebook posts by friend of various political beliefs, it is hard for me to believe we were watching the same debate. So many diverse opinions about who 'won'. I'm close to deleting some of my Facebook friends because of the incredibly derogatory remarks about the various candidates. Maybe the reason Congress is so deadlocked along partisan lines is that we all are. That is sad. Considering my own Democratic views on most issues, I am surprised by how many Republican friends I have. Obama, Biden, Romney and Ryan are all very intelligent people. I disagree with Romney and Ryan on many issues but I give them credit for their well-thought-out beliefs. That is more than I can say for one previous President (Bush 2), one previous VP (Quale) and one previous VP candidate (Palin). People who are comfortable in the spotlight sometimes show subtle signs of mild nervousness during moments when the stakes are high...

I am somewhat obsessed with clarity in life. I do not like ambiguity. In the same breath I can tell you that sometimes I confuse people and occasionally seem to send mixed signals. When it comes to directions, however, I am usually clear and I expect (or hope for) geographic clarity. I also usually verify directions with a map. Usually. Washington DC is a confusing place until you understand how the streets are laid out. I've lived around here long enough to have a clue but that doesn't always help. And one letter difference in an address makes plenty of difference in where you're going and how you get there. Directions I received for a meeting in DC this morning said 3rd Street SE. That seemed odd because most government buildings are SW. And this time I did not verify; I merely looked up the address I was given and located the nearest Metro Rail stop. It seemed odd that this building would be in a residential neighborhood near a school but I've seen stranger thing...

It really bothers me that ultra-conservatives use the term ‘liberal’ as a curse word. I usually describe myself as liberal-leaning moderate, partly because some of my views are more conservative and partly because the term liberal implies some kind of negative. Look through history, however, and many of the greatest achievements of our government and politicians were at one time considered liberal. Here are a few examples: - Thomas Jefferson, main author of the Declaration of Independence, and the noteworthy idea that all people have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. - Abraham Lincoln and his Emancipation Proclamation. - Susan B. Anthony and her radically liberal idea that women should have the right to vote. - Theodore Roosevelt and his liberal anti-trust laws, assertion of the right for workers to form unions and the eventual formation of the Food and Drug Administration. - Franklin Roosevelt and Social Security. - Lyndon Johnson and the Civil Ri...

For many years Chris tried to convince his government leaders they should fund his crazy idea. He knew there would be significant scientific, economic and social benefits from that kind of exploration he wanted to do, not just for his country but for the whole world. Completing successful missions would raise the standing of his country in the world view, which of course would benefit the government. He had a few points to prove but he needed his country’s help to accomplish his goals. His country wasn’t interested, however, so he pursued other governments, some established, some emerging. One of those countries, an emerging one, understood his vision and agreed to fund it. They knew that his mission would result in a shorter path to prosperity and there could be many side benefits from things he and his crew would ‘invent’ to make their mission possible. Chris was a bit of a daredevil and wasn’t afraid to explore new places, even very distant ones that others said couldn’t be reac...

One thing that bothers me about Presidential candidate debates these days is that neither candidate answers the moderator’s questions. Each candidate works their talking points. They spew statistics ‘backing’ their positions. Fact-checkers plow through the ‘facts’ and generally report that each candidate gets some of them right and some of them wrong. What this election really comes down to is this … will a new guy be any better than the current guy? My own cynical question is this … can any President create jobs and fix the economy? Sure, a President is a leader and leaders have influence on people, therefore a leader can make things happen even when he or she doesn’t actually control events first-hand. But does that influence create jobs? Does it make the economy better? No, at least not directly. There are many other factors. If you believe a President has that much control, then you better be blaming the previous President for getting us into this mess in the first place!! Bein...

I am beginning to buy into the idea that everything important in life can be learned from dogs. I saw this on Facebook and decided to share. So much of this is true. Live like a dog and you’ll be a happy human. 01. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride. 02. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be exhilarating. 03. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. 04. When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience. 05. Enjoy it when someone wants to show affection. 06. Take naps, and always stretch before rising. 07. Run, romp, and play daily. 08. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. 09. Be loyal, filled with grace, and grant unconditional love. 10. Never pretend to be something you're not. 11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. 12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently. 13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. 14. Avoid biting when a si...

Do you like movies? Do you see your favorite movies more than once? How man y times have you seen your favorite movie? My all-time favorite film is Casablanca. I lost count after seeing it 25 times. I own two copies of it, one on VHS and another on DVD. Funny how I haven’t watched in at least five years. Where is that DVD? I need to see this again. I thought about this over the weekend as I watched Independence Day for the … hmmmm … 10th time? Maybe 15th? Movies that are regularly on TV don’t actually fit into my ‘how many times’ category because it is easy to see parts of them. I’ve probably seen Independence Day all the way through at least ten times, but parts of it at least another ten. Maybe more. Lethal Weapon (all of them) are on my high count list if you include seeing them in parts. I’ve seen each of the series all the way through only once, but each in pieces several dozen times. Same with the Die Hard bunch and Terminator. For movies of substance I prefer to watch ...

Dreams, the kind you have when you sleep, are amusing to me. I don’t believe they mean much but I know sometimes they connect things that are already in your brain. In my case, they connect very odd things in very odd ways. The one I remember from the other night was really strange, however, and included nobody I know. First, some background … I interview community leaders and representatives from non-profit organizations for a radio show. Usually I ask questions and they answer them. Sometimes rather than simply ask a question, I will start a sentence to lead the guest to finish it. A second piece of background … our studios have a light outside the door that reads “On Air”; that means the microphone is on and a recording or live show is in progress so if you see that light, do not enter the room. This dream featured me interviewing a guest. He was not anybody I know but he looked a little like an actor named Richard Schiff (pictured here) and he never smiled. One thing I rememb...

I spent last weekend in Las Vegas. The place oozes decadence. It is bright, glitzy, sexy, noisy and intense. I love visiting because for that few days I am on another planet. I could never live there. I probably couldn’t go there if my employer wasn’t picking up most of the tab. The reason for my visit was the iHeart Radio Music Festival. Part of my job is producing promos for the event; part of my payment is the trip to the event. Awesome music, including Jason Aldean and Bon Jovi (and 18 others plus celebrity surprises). Did some gambling … well, I played a few dollars in slot machines. My strategy is to decide in advance how much I am willing to lose. I lost it all. Spent some time with co-workers, introduced myself to the guy who runs the entire company. I’d tell you more but like I said in yesterday’s post, I am busy. And tonight I’m tired. But I wanted to mention the trip a little. And show you a couple of pictures. More later. Thanks for visiting.